We will cross that bridge when we get there….
These days I feel like I could switch my name to the “Queen of change” because of all that has transpired over the past couple of months. I’m almost afraid to even blog about it because of all of the horrible things that happened after I wrote “Make this a December remember” but I will go into small details about it. After the month of me crashing my new truck, ruining my last tray of Invisalign ( and almost burning down the kitchen in the process), moving (abruptly), trying to adjust to another small out in the middle of nowhere town, coming down with several bouts of God knows what icky germs, I can report I had about enough. To top it all off, in the process of trying to move my beloved cats and chickens back to my old farm they were stolen and “rehomed” against my will. Most people wouldn’t understand the stress this caused but if you have animals you know they are like you family and we were already in the dumps from giving Luella away. I will say now, January was kind of a blur but was very very hard for me and during that time I gave up on a couple of things I had been involved in and/or working on. Since I’m more of a solution-oriented person and not so much of an “Omg why me” type of gal I just knew I needed to sit down and take an inventory of my life and what exactly was going on. During that time I decided that I was going to really hold myself accountable for all the promises I made to myself and really follow through with things I knew needed to be done. I also decided to start to let go of things that were no longer meant for me. Now, this was probably one of the hardest things I started to do and am still struggling very much with doing it. I am a self-proclaimed “life pack rat” and will cling to things, memories, and people that are longer serving me well. Hence why I still work at 26, have a couple of really awful “friends” that I just can’t move past, have 2 blankets from high school that are pretty much shredded, have letters I have written to people over the years that I couldn’t give to them or throw away etc etc. I know I do it (hold on) and I know it needs to end. I feel very proud for admitting that and I feel like I am making such awesome progress but it has come with much anxiety. Next week I will be posting about a life cleanse I will be participating in on Splendidbuddha.com and hope that will really help me along this journey and will lessen some of the anxiousness I have felt over the past couple of months. After really looking into things and figuring out what are the things I can and can’t change of those things that just had to finally go was Lularoe. I am in no way shape or form going to sit here and talk bad about something that came into my life 1.5 years ago and helped me so tremendously. I not only gained financially from this company but also earned back a sense of who Renee is. I’ve said once and I’ll say it 1000 times more that small business and direct sales has changed my life so much and in so any ways. Although it helped me, I have known for some time that it was time to move on. Today I announced that I would closing up shop and immediately my phone flooded with texts. Some I answered, some I didn’t. There are no words to describe a feeling on just needing to be done so I won’t even try. I have a huge lump in my throat as I write this, not because I’m unsure about my decisions but because it’s just one more thing changing in this life of mine. Luckily, along with this heap of change I have adapted to I have also learned that if something makes you uncomfortable while trying to change yourself for the better that probably means you should keep going because that new uncharted territory has something amazing waiting on the other side. God doesn’t put a song in your heart and not give you the lyrics. Heres to crossing another bridge….and to the 500 pairs of Lularoe leggings sitting in my garage LOL